Super Nanny Phenomenon

I admit it ... I have sat down and been sucked into the reality TV glow of both SuperNannies. While I agree with the basic intent of most of their teaching ( consistency ) I often leave the show with a bad taste in my mouth. Last night was no exception.

I forced my family to give up the TV and let me watch America's Super Nanny, real name Deborah Tillman. Once I got past the fact that they had dressed her like Michelle Obama I was really interested in how she was going to help two same sex parents reign in four two years old and still have time for their two oldest children.

First let me say I hate the idea of OBSERVATION ... how nerve racking must it be to have a women walk around and watch you with your children ... but hey i guess they signed up for it. During Michelle , I mean Deborah's observation some real disturbing things happened ... like you should call Child protective services disturbing. First , working mom swept up chips and then encouraged the toddlers to eat off the ground ! Then , stay at home mom locks them screaming into their bedroom. Lets just say I was hooked.

But then the bad taste came back when SUPER nanny first makes stay at home mom cry because she yells and says she is making her children feel like animals when she locks them in their room ( something stay at home mom already admitted she felt horrible doing) and then she whips our the super nanny save all ... the time out . In this show they call it the calm down corner, but in reality it just the same thing. The child breaks a rule you sit them in the corner for a designated amount of time which doesn't start until they calm down.

Here's the thing .... the super nanny phenomenon has lead to American parents misusing and overusing time out . There I said it. Time out is not for every offense and actually loses its effectiveness the more you use it . Time out or calm down time is just that a time to calm down. You should use it when a child is out of control , overwhelmed or proceeding to do a repetitive behavior. Example being. . . Joey was told not to run in the house . You give him a warning , remind him of the rule and redirect him . Joey keeps running , you sit him down in the time out space.... which will most likely reduce him to tears... when the tears are over you ask him if he is ready to get up and walk in the house . Then time out is over. The problem I have with super nanny time out is that it works more like this. Joey is told the rule is no running in the house ... hours later he runs in the house and is put in the corner... where he starts to cry and scream . He calms down and then has to sit for three minutes ? What is he suppose to be doing in those three minutes , I hope not feel bad about breaking the rules, because anyone with basic child development experience will tell you that children are pretty ego centric and don't feel bad they just say sorry to conform to social norms we are teaching them.

Back to Deborah and the Quad 2 yr olds. She teaches the moms how to use the calm down corner and then gives them a bed time routine . I love the bedtime routine except that it would of been even better if each child got some one on one mommy time , like being individually tucked in and kissed ( but maybe they did and it just was not shown , this is TV) . Well , bedtime explodes with two of the quads refusing bedtime. Solution ? Put them in the calm down corner ??????

Wait. You are taking a two year old who is obviously overtired out of their bedroom and putting them in time out for not being able to calm down for bed????

Super nanny , why , oh why?
My theory ... these kids are exhausted and need some parental attention to calm down.. back rub anyone ? Not to be put in a corner where they become emotionally overwhelmed .
Maybe I am wrong . Maybe I am too soft !

I actually turned Super nanny off at this point and told my lovely male counterpart he could watch what he wanted. He looked at me and said , " that was a little disturbing , right" . Have I mentioned that he is an army Sergent ????

Ahhh. So the revolutionary thought of the day ....time out is not the end all be all we have been led to believe.